Gratuitous Nudity Can't Save Val Kilmer's Global Warming Movie
The invaluable anti-climate-alarmist site Globalwarming.org alerts us to how far Val Kilmer's star has fallen.
Not even "gratuitous nudity" can save his stinker of a global warming film, The Chaos Experiment. (And, no — Thank God! — the gratuitous nudity did not involve Kilmer.)
According to William Yeatman:
I saw Val Kilmer’s new feature the other day. It’s called “The Chaos Experiment,” and it’s about a deranged scientist (Kilmer) who traps “six sexy strangers” (according to the plot synopsis on the back of the DVD) in a room and slowly turns up the heat to demonstrate the deleterious effects of global warming on the human condition. In a nutshell, the “six sexy strangers” get naked before they go crazy and start killing one another.
And you want a bad review? Here's a bad review:
My girlfriend thought it was awful — she was put off by the nudity. That was the only part I enjoyed, in what was otherwise a real snoozer.
The film, apparently once titled "The Steam Experiment," was (shockingly) released in two theaters before quickly heading for the discount bin at your local video store. And, according to IMBD, the plot is even worse than Yeatman describes. Kilmer plays, essentially, a slightly better looking Ted Kaczynski:
A former professor concocts a brutal experiment in order to get the word out on the effects of global warming. By trapping six people in an urban Turkish bathhouse, he vows to overheat his hostages unless his global-warming hypothesis is published on the front page of his local paper.
Sorry, Val. No room in the paper for your screed. But no worries. Life imitates art. A UN apparatchik is out there saying we have but four months to save the planet ... then we're all DOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMED! No matter that the global warming scare is a fraud, and the useless bill the House passed this summer will cost at least 2 million jobs. I'm sure taxpayers will soon be subsidizing your glorious sequel, The Jaccuzi Experiment, in which you put six comely underwear models in a hot tub and slowly turn up the heat until ... well ... things really start heating up (if you get my drift).
Instead of going straight to Skinemax, we'll be required to watch your propaganda blockbuster to collect our carbon ration cards. Ticket-takers, organic popcorn vendors and movie ushers leading us to our seats by candlelight will be some of the "green jobs" our government will soon create.
Leave No Hollywood Hack Behind!
(HT: The Corner; Cross-posted at Infinite Monkeys)
Comments
When your Message basically involves a big-sceen adaptation of a Nelly song you need to work on it a bit.
Posted by: Fred Schendel | August 12, 2009 11:14 PM
This is just hilarious, Jim. I surmise that it was shown in two theaters in order to be eligible for Academy Award nominations. After all, Al Gore got an Oscar for his absurd horror film.
Posted by: S. T. Karnick | August 13, 2009 10:26 AM
I had friends over for dinner the other night and one of them told me she had the solution for the Israeli-Palestinian interminable conflict. Her solution leads me to the following idea for a sequel to The Steam Experiment.
3 Israeli Jews and 3 Palestinian Arabs are trapped in a meat locker by a deranged political scientist. After several days in the deep freeze, peace and harmony break out. Proving the solution to the "Middle East conflict" is Air Conditioning.
Working Title: The Big Chill
Posted by: Daniel Crandall | August 13, 2009 12:54 PM