The American Culture

Mike writes:

On a lighter note: Since this is the beginning of the latest political season, it might be instructive if we keep everything in perspective and respond in proportion to the provocation.  To that end, here are some "measures" by which to judge the candidates and their pronouncements (from Willard R. Espy's AN ALMANAC OF WORDS AT PLAY, 1975, page 130, attributed to Joe Ecclesine):

POLITICAL OPPONENT'S MEASURE
2 nincompoops = 1 fathead
2 fatheads = 1 incompetent
3 incompetents = 1 opportunist
2 opportunists = 1 machiavelli

If everything goes swimmingly, then we apply the

APPLAUSE SCALE
2 salvos = 1 accolade
2 accolades = 1 triumph
3 triumphs = 1 ovation (sitting)
4 ovations = 1 lionization
2 lionizations = 1 outtasight

If, however, the debate deteriorates, then we must apply the

ALTERCATION SCALE
2 tussles = 1 fray
3 frays = 1 fracas
2 fracases = 1 skirmish
2 skirmishes = 1 fight

But if you're like me and your eyes rapidly glaze over during debate (due to the poor forensics skills of the candidates), then it's time to apply

THE I-DON'T-CARE SCALE
2 jots = 1 tittle
3 tittles = 1 continental
2 continentals = 1 tinker's dam
4 tinker's dams = 1 damn